My Hubby Makes Me Laugh #2
My husband is very creative & clever - he is the only person that can make me laugh when I am upset or angry. So, I decided to make this a monthly post called:
"My Hubby Makes Me Laugh."
ENJOY!
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Homemade Applesauce & the Art of the Apple Harvest
written by my husband © 2014
We have an apple tree in the back yard that produces a
summer ready apple. The name and variety
escapes me. We rarely prune this tree
and we never spray it so as a result, the apples are numerous, small and knobbly. In other words, they are only applesauceable. That’s the good news – the bad news is that
because we don’t prune it, all the best apples are at the top and totally out
of reach. And of course our ladder is
about ten feet too short to get the job done.
I know this may sound like a heart breaking metaphor about the
difficulties of modern life but it’s not.
It’s just about apples that I can’t get to. I have one idea on how to harvest them and
Angie has another. Please let us know
which one makes more sense (please leave a comment at the end of this post
letting us know what you think).
My idea: I would like
to take our 1993 Jeep Cherokee and bash it into the trunk of the tree without damaging
the tree (hopefully). Of course there is
the issue of damaging the car but it’s 21 years old so……oh well. Worst case scenario is that when the car hits
the tree the horn goes off (like in move crashes) and I won’t know how to turn
it off and so it blows until the battery dies.
I just put in a new battery last winter – so my horn will be blaring for
an hour and a half and saying to everyone in a 3 block radius to “come and see
what this guy just did and bring your camera" (which for some reason now days is
also attached to a telephone so you can call even more people that you know to
see this). But if the horn doesn’t go
off, then my idea is golden. Plus, one
of my all-time favorite movies is “Animal House” so I’ve always wanted to yell “Ramming
Speed” and then drive my car into something.
Angie’s idea: She
wants to throw our rakes up into the tree.
I must say, I don’t totally hate this idea. Since I am a boy I love to throw stuff and I
like to throw stuff at stuff even more.
I am naturally hard wired for throwing.
But, here is what most probably will happen. We have 5 rakes, 3 bushel rakes and 2
hard-toothed rakes. You just know that 4
of them are going to be staying up in that tree. So, then we will have to throw some heavier implements
at the rakes and then we will have 4 rakes, 2 shovels, an axe and a hoe stuck
up in the apple tree. This won’t be so
bad as long as there are leaves on the tree, but by fall I just know that
October will tell the tragic tale of shame and poor judgment. If we get more than 8 garden tools stuck in
one apple tree then I will probably put a string of Christmas lights on it and
call it “performance art.” I think I
would call my piece “Free Will and Predestination.” I was free to throw or not to throw the rakes
into the tree but I knew for certain what would happen if I did. Get it?
A third outside solution would be a monkey.
Please give us some feedback.
What would you do? And please don’t suggest the obvious – that we
borrow a taller ladder – The wife and I just don’t swing that way.
_________________________________________________________________My Hubby Makes Me Laugh#3- R.W. Tower- The World's Most Intelligent Gardener
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Thanks for the laugh. Both ideas are great, I could just see a truck horn blaring against a tree, with spectators surrounding wondering why there are rakes being thrown at it.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much - glad that we could laugh together!
DeleteI like the monkey idea best - Option 1 just draws too much attention, and option 2 could end up with a trip to the ER when a rake falls back to earth and hits you in the head. Besides, who doesn't want a monkey?! #googlecircleshop
ReplyDeleteI never thought about the head injury - hahaha - thanks so much for stopping by!
DeleteLOL both ideas have merit. just make sure you have someone videotaping it so you can win money on America's Funniest Home Videos.
ReplyDeleteDebbi
-YankeeBurrow
Fantastic idea - hahaha - thanks so much!
DeleteOh, boy…isn't there a fourth option? I guess I have to go with the monkey, too - or a small child and good liability insurance.
ReplyDeleteSo funny - I like your small child & a good liability insurance idea - Thanks
DeleteMaybe I can send that squirrel that lives in my oak tree over, he's pretty good at tossing acorns at me when I work in the yard, so maybe he could be trained to pick the apples at the top of the tree. And he's a really efficient at getting them down. The only problem is he tends to bury a lot of things. And you'll end up with apple trees everywhere.
ReplyDeleteIt's good to laugh about it... in the country we make do!! Thanks for sharing your lovely post at Home Sweet Garden Party! I hope you can join us again this week too! It will be open this afternoon at 4pm! {www.creativecountrymom.com} Hugs...Brooke
ReplyDeleteSo fun! Great ideas. Pinned Hugs! Lou Lou Girls
ReplyDelete